CentraCare - St. Cloud Hospital Emergency Trauma Center

“⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Review of Spooky Splendor’s Review Spooky Splendor has written less of a hospital review and more of a survival log from an airport terminal where the flights never leave and everyone may have internal bleeding. The adventure begins with the ER chairs “smashed together,” apparently because personal space is a luxury reserved for people who are not contagious, dehydrated, nauseated, or actively reconsidering their life choices. After five hours, the hospital reportedly accomplished the bold medical feat of drawing blood. Fluids? No. Water? Absolutely not. Juice? Let’s not get extravagant. Nausea medication did eventually arrive after four and a half hours, although staff first called the wrong name and then seemed confused that Spooky Splendor failed to respond to their newly assigned identity. A rookie mistake, really. Everyone knows that in an emergency room, you should answer to any name shouted in your general direction. “Michael?” That could be you. “Susan?” Better check. “Next of kin?” Stand up immediately. Meanwhile, hungry patients were ordering DoorDash, turning the waiting room into a medically themed food court. One woman had reportedly been waiting sixteen hours to be evaluated for a possible blood clot, proving that the “emergency” in Emergency Room may refer primarily to how urgently you should have brought a sleeping bag. Spooky Splendor eventually decided that potentially bleeding out at home offered better seating, fewer strangers, and possibly faster service. The review concludes with a final bureaucratic masterpiece: Urgent Care said the ER would test for the infection. The ER said it would not. Somewhere between the two buildings, the bacteria apparently became an administrative issue and escaped jurisdiction entirely. **Final rating: 5/5—excellent pacing, multiple subplots, mistaken identity, DoorDash, dehydration, and a possible blood clot. Less a medical visit than an immersive endurance experience sponsored by uncomfortable chairs.**”

“Unfortunately I have had to make a few trips here with my kids and each time the staff has been extremely friendly and helpful. My daughter was just there last night for a broke arm and I appreciate everyone that helped and check in on her while she was there. We did end up going to the cities to have surgery but they did everything they could to make her more comfortable until that happened several hours later.”